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Some Things I’ve Learned

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has sent me private messages of concern following my relapse.

I don’t have the time to write a full blog entry today, since relapses have the weird side effect of making one’s house very, very messy….and my husband returns home on Friday.  He has been very supportive regarding my relapse, but coming home after a month to a six-foot deep pile of dirty…very dirty…laundry might finally send him right over the fucking edge.

In the short amount of time I have to write this, I think I want to share one of the main things I’ve learned from this relapse:

If you’ve done meth in the past and it ended really badly, if you do it again it will end even worse for you.

This was really surprising to me, which is why I’m sharing that information with you so you can share it with others. It’s the least I can do to atone for my stupidity and the pain and worry i’ve caused so many people who love me.  I like to think of myself as an intelligent man, but I’m still learning things every day.  I’m going to quickly share some other things I’ve learned recently so you can avoid the consequences I’ve endured from engaging in these  seemingly harmless activities:

1.  Some floor cleaners smell a lot like a Lemon Drop cocktail, but taste really fucking bad and will give you a sore throat.

2. Certain glass items are really shiny like hard candy but – strangely –  they will make your mouth bleed  if you eat them. Weird, right?

3. You will cut yourself approximately 65% of the time if you use scissors to open tuna cans.

4. Rattlesnakes may look all cuddly and snuggly and shit, but they hate being kissed on the mouth.

5. Those bug fogger things will only make your head cold worse if you try to use them as a vaporizer.

6.  It’s really awesome that God made so many metal items that will fit into power outlets, but if you stick a cocktail fork into one it will be super painful.

7. Pomegranate juice is a really great anti-oxidant, but you should only use water with a neti-pot.

I hope you find all of this helpful, especially the don’t do meth one.  I’ll continue to report to you as I discover additional things that aren’t good or safe activities.

Have a lovely day….off to get the garden hose so I can clean the hardwood floors for my husband. He’s going to be so happy with how shiny I’m going to get them!

And again, thank you ALL for your concern. I’m struggling, but at least I’m still moving.  Have a beautiful day.

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